It’s about 6:30 here, and I’ve just finished a very long day. I was sort of expecting the last couple of classes to drag and everyone to sleep through them, as unfortunately tends to happen this late in the day, but fortunately, my Wednesday afternoon classes have some pretty amazing teachers, so we did more laughing than sleeping.
Funny quotes from today:
Teacher: “So, you really shouldn’t do a mitzvah, such as praying, while you have to go to the bathroom. It’s considered ‘disgusting.’ Find a bathroom first.”
Student: “Wait, so does that apply to, like, personal mitzvot?”
Teacher: “No, of course not…these are the kinds of things we do all day. You’re not going to say, ‘Nope, sorry, not going to say Mazal Tov to you because I need to go to the bathroom….'”
In the next class, the rabbi was handing out the sheets we’d be learning from today, and because it was an unstapled packet, some sheets got mixed up, and girls were missing sheets, had two of something, etc.
The rabbi looked at us, shook his head, and went, “How many seminary girls does it take to pass around a sheet of paper?” When we expressed our amusement, he continued, “For that matter, how many yeshiva students does it take to change a lightbulb?” and when nobody had an answer, he said, “It’s a machlokes, of course!” (Machlokes means “argument”–he was referring to the fact that for every two Jews, there are three opinions….)
Later, in the same class, he was talking about how every individual has their own mission from G-d and we can’t just do what someone else is doing just because we think we ought to. Similarly, says the rabbi, “you wouldn’t say, well I think your face is outrageous, maybe you’d like to have mine.” (please imagine a very strong British accent saying that, and then I think you’ll be as amused as we were)
Okay, maybe you had to be there. But I was amused….